Why aren't we looking after ourselves?
Why aren’t we looking after ourselves? Now, more than ever, we need to put our well-being first.
Prioritizing Self-Care in Challenging Times: Nurturing Our Wellbeing Amidst Uncertainty
Yesterday l was laying on the couch feeling shit, thank you covid, and accidentally came across the News, something l try and avoid like the plague. All l heard was ……. where to get the cheapest petrol…… shopping for food is becoming a luxury …. electricity and gas prices set to soar and then bingo, in the mail l get a letter from my bank advising me of the interest rate rise, another $100 per month thank you very much!
I then start to slip into panic mode. Worry, fear, anger and sadness all these emotions start consuming my mind. Then my mind starts racing and the beginning of a downward slope of negativity and anxiety begins. All these questions, all these thoughts.
“How am l going to live”
”How am l going to continue working for myself”
“I’m going to have to give up on my dream job and get a full time job”
“Maybe l should sell the house”
On and on my mind went going deeper and deeper into worry, fear and anger.
Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk: Shifting Perspective to Attract Positivity
I went to bed exhausted by all the thoughts that took up residence in my mind. And although l was exhausted do you think l could sleep? Noooooooo. So, this morning at 2am, 3am and 5am l entertained the crazy thoughts running around in my mind and after a few tears, a burst of anxiety and bout of feeling sorry for myself my mind came to a stop. My mind calmed. All l heard was “what are you doing? Do you want to attract more of this?” Well, no l don’t!
The problem when we start on the negative self-talk our minds start drawing in everything negative that it can find, and everything grates on you…… I’m laid up feeling sick, why doesn’t anyone else do the dishes or washing? why do l have to do it all? Why are they using the clothes dryer, they don’t care how much the bill is, they don’t pay it! The house is a mess why is it left to me to clean? Do l have to do everything around here? …….. I guess you get the picture and I’m sure many of you have felt this from time to time, usually when we are empty, flat and have nothing left to give.
So why aren’t we looking after ourselves?
So now l am full of negative self-talk feeling sorry for myself, full of fear, I’m tired and my mind is out of control. All these emotions buried within, l keep all this to myself and just stomp around, grunt and huff under my breath. Why are they not helping me and loving me and making everything alright, surely everyone knows what I’m going through! Or do they?
The Power of Silent Strength: Navigating Independence, Vulnerability, and Seeking Support
As a woman who has done nearly everything for herself most of her life, l have always been very mindful not to complain or share my worries with anyone, I struggle asking for help. I remember when l was younger and we went to visit my grandparents, the first question we ask is how are you? The answer from my Nan was always a given, this hurts or I’ve been better with a sad tone to her voice, there was always something wrong. I noticed that this behaviour did not give her love and attention, in fact quite the opposite. My grandfather on the other hand sat silently, never complaining about anything was flooded with love and attention.
Ok, l didn’t expect that……. what a revelation l just had….. l just uncovered a limiting belief from a learnt behaviour WOW!. Now you see why journaling is such an important part of looking after ourselves!
Ok now let’s get back on track. A few years ago, my youngest became an adult and l found myself in this strange place of not knowing who l was. I was a mum but not feeling needed, l was unhappy in a stressful job which kept me bound to it due to the income and security it provided. After spending a good 2 years working out how l could get out of the corporate life l finally cracked one day and resigned, on a ledge, l had no direction except the knowing that l couldn’t do the job another day. Surprisingly, l was happy and excited all while being scared.
l gave up my security to pursue a better quality of life, one with minimal stress and where l could make a difference to the world. I have to keep reminding myself of why l made such drastic changes to appreciate why l need to keep fighting for the new and better life l am creating.
The problem we have when fear and anxiety start creeping in, is our natural state, is to go back to where it was safe, to what we know and where we are comfortable. Unfortunately, safety and comfort does not always make us happy, nor does it create change for the better. It takes courage and a deep desire to want to change.
Recognizing what you don’t want is the first step to “looking after ourselves”
Every day l take small steps to create the life l want. My mind goes from crazy to resourceful and this is when the most personal growth happens. I have learned that l do have control over my thoughts, although not every minute of the day, and l have learnt valuable tools that help me to turn the negative into a positive and turn fear and anxiety into hope and excitement. To encourage a positive mindset even in the midst of hardship, when things in life are out of our control, we can still see the hope, and this is empowering.
I have been on one hell of a ride the past 50 years in search of my happiness. I have promised myself that l will live a balance and abundant life that l am proud to call mine. I am not giving that up because worry and fear are taking over.
Now is not the time to stop working on you. It is more important than ever to keep on top of your mental health every single day and ask for help if you need it. Amazing things can be achieved when you start looking after yourself.